


We met with a goodbye kiss

by cigarettesandalcohol



Category: Men's Football RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Angst, Football, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 07:19:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16035656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cigarettesandalcohol/pseuds/cigarettesandalcohol
Summary: He switched the light off and stepped out of the room, closing the door quietly behind his back - and behind the old life that he used to know.





	We met with a goodbye kiss

 "And you're telling me this _now_?" Domagoj's smile was somehow frozen on his face, almost as if he _couldn't stop_ smiling, as if the smile was as much part of him as his eyes or nose or hair.

Mario, with his eyes fixed on the carpet, didn't answer. 

 _We both sobered too fast_ , he thought.

"I couldn't say it in Moscow - " he started, shrugging his shoulders vehemently as he always did at a referee. "There was no time - "

"For a change, now there is - "

"What the fuck should I do?" Mario snapped, throwing his hands in the air. "Keep my mouth shut and then - just write a message - or _what_?"

He didn't care if anyone could hear him now, though he hoped the walls of this Zagreb hotel were much thicker than those in Moscow. They arrived by the triumphant bus ride  during which they didn't really have much time for each other, they were there for the others and mostly for the fans who gathered along the streets to welcome them home - Mario stood on the roof of the bus with a flag wrapped around his shoulders, singing out loud, living for the moment, breathing in the hot summer air and absorbing all the sounds and colors around, knowing this day would not end before he says those damned words to Domagoj.

 _I am going to retire from the National Team_.

He wasn't quite ready to make a public statement. He wasn't ready to talk to anyone, fuck, he had a hard time even coming to this conclusion himself and he couldn't involve other people yet but he had to tell Domagoj.

It wouldn't be right to hide this decision from him.

It wouldn't be right to let him know _as anyone else_ \- when he - wasn't _just anyone_.

He spotted a moment that seemed just perfect - the short time they were given to spend on the hotel before joining the evening programme on the main square. There were too many people around them _before_ , and Mario knew there would be _after_ as well.  _Now was the time_.

Domagoj laughed as he dragged him by the elbow to his room. "Are you sure - we don't have much time - "

As soon as Mario closed the door, Domagoj's lips were all over his, he smelled of beer and his skin was heated from being outside for so many hours and it hurt, _it actually hurt_ to push him away. 

"No - we need to talk - "

 He's never seen the playful light in Domo's eyes fade so quickly ( _as a child who was promised McDonald's and then was given a plate of broccoli_ , he thought and he had to smirk at that thought because Domagoj had exactly _that_ kind of expression).

"Talk? Now?" He looked around the walls as if he was looking for a clock. "We need to go in - ten minutes?" He looked at Mario suspiciously but then, a typical smile widened his lips. "What is that?"

Mario's heart suddenly felt heavy. How can he ever say - 

"I'm leaving the national team."

_Fuck. Fuck. It wasn't - it wasn't supposed to be like this - it wasn't supposed to sound like this - he didn't mean to spit it out -_

"And you're telling me this _now_?"

 And there they were.

"Why?" Domagoj asked, not showing the slightest sign of surprise or shock.

"I can't hide it any longer - not from you - "

"But _why_?"

"I had this planned for some time... One more big event, one more championship and - _yeah_."

" _The end_ ," Domagoj added bitterly. The tone didn't suit him at all.

"The end."

"You shouldn't have told me."

"It would be wrong to - pretend - "

"Come here."

Domo's eyes, always so full of life and tireless energy, were shining in a different way now, unusually meek and soft. There was an indescribable pain behind them, pain that Domagoj always hid behind the laughter and smiles but now was too exhausted to do so.

"So - is this your way of saying goodbye?" he asked, offering his hand to the taller man. 

Mario bit his lower lip to make sure it wasn't shaking as he took Domagoj in his arms, wrapping his hands around Domo's back. "You always looked so good in this checkered jersey," he whispered before burying his face in the mess of his hair, breathing in the scent and enjoying the softness. The embrace grew tighter when Domagoj moved. "Stay - like this. _Please_." Tears were burning in his eyes. _Why, why, why did he say it_. 

He ruined the night.

 _He had to_.

He had to make sure Domagoj knows it's the last time _like this_.

 And it surprised him how calm Vida actually looked. 

 "Nothing will change," he said, stroking the long blonde hair. "I'll still be here - "

"You haven't told anyone?"

"No. I'll need some time to - get used to this."

"You didn't need  _the time_ with me."

 _"Because I know you_. I know you'll understand this - "

"Yeah." Domagoj's eyes were filled with sadness - sadness that stayed out of his words and tone. He could amuse anyone and tell jokes straight away and nobody would notice but his eyes were desperate and looked so small in his face that was missing its most important component, _the smile_. "You just - woke up one day and thought - _maybe I should stop playing for Croatia_ \- "

"It's not like that," he answered, stroking Vida's hair and back. "It has nothing to do with us. _It's not about us_. Nothing will change, I promise - "

"Right." Domagoj forced a smile back on his face and he looked real and complete once again. "We should probably go - "

Domagoj has never been the precise one who's always on time. When he started organizing others, something was wrong, Mario could tell that. He couldn't watch the masterfully hidden pain. " _I really hope you understand_."

 "I do, yeah." Vida laughed and if Mario hadn't known him as he did, he'd _buy it,_ he'd just shrug his shoulders and think _it's okay_. But he _knew him._ And he knew it wasn't alright - and never would be.

"It's not about _you and me_ ," he repeated, ready to explain everything if he had to.

"Let's go," Domagoj interrupted him. They were caught in their own traps, unable to actually talk about it, forced to leave the hotel and go celebrate their silver medals. It was strange, hearing such a constructive plan from Domagoj - normally Mario would laugh and mock Domo for becoming organized instead of chaotic but now he knew the possible reason behind such strange behavior from Vida's side. It was his fault. Maybe he really shouldn't have told him - 

"Yeah. Go first," he nodded, letting Domagoj go. The blonde man hesitated for a while, looking at the door and then back at Mario.

"It's not our goodbye, right?"

Seeing Domagoj so emotionally exposed made Mario's heart clench in pain. " _No, no, of course not_ \- " he assured him frantically. There was nothing else to do - he had to make sure Domo trusted him even after today's betrayal - he pulled him closer again and grabbing a handful of his hair, he kissed him. "I'm always here for you."

Domo nodded slowly. "Turn off the lights on your way out," he said and an old familiar smile appeared on his face again, although the words sounded odd coming from him. Times were changing, apparently more than Mario could have imagined, and the words Domo said, probably just to say _at least something_ , something meaningless and plain, something that had nothing to do with them two and their relationship, sounded strange and foreign.

"Sure."

As Domo left, he had a few more moments just for himself.

He looked around the room for the last time, saying goodbye to all the things that have become silent witnesses of the scene.

Then, he switched the light off and stepped out of the room, closing the door quietly behind his back - and behind the old life that he used to know.


End file.
